Thursday, March 29, 2007

我的温柔

温柔五月天

走在风中今天阳光突然好温柔
天的温柔地的温柔像你抱著我
然后发现你的改变孤单的今后
如果冷该怎么渡过
天边风光身边的我都不在你眼中
你的眼中藏著什么我从来都不懂
没有关系你的世界就让你拥有
不打扰是我的温柔
不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
明明是想靠近却孤单到黎明
不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽总是在孤单里
再把我的最好的爱给你
不知不觉不情不愿又到巷子口
我没有哭也没有笑因为这是梦
没有预兆没有理由你真的有说过
如果有就让你自由
music
自由这是我的温柔

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Perhaps. Love.

is it cos of the past?
that i still think of you?

is it cos of the past?
that my love still lingers?

is it cos of the past?
that i still dream of you?

is it cos of the past?
that i think of you?

is it cos of the past?
that i don't dare to love you?

is it cos of the past?
that i think i love you?

is it cos of the past?
that i can only hold you in my dreams?

is it cos of the past?
that i feel having you in my life will make me whole?

is it cos of the past?
that i dare not hold high hopes?

is it cos of the past?
that i think it can actually work out?

is it cos of the past?
that there might be a future?

is it cos of the past?
that i still long for you?

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. today is a gift. that's why we call it the "present".

i thank God for today, for i know, today you belong in my heart. i don't know what the future holds. but i thank God for today.

one day, we might work it out. one day things might be what i dreamt it to be. one day...

i dream. i dream of a paradise with you. tonight i await your arrival at lala land. hope you're awaiting mine too.

i long for tonight. for dreams hold hopes. it might not be for real. but it can be real enough to feel bliss. 'dream on,' they say. but i believe dreams do come true. one day, it might.

give us another chance. and it'll be the last chance we'll ever need. now, we'll take things slow and steady. one day, dreams might be true.

be not afraid to love for love is innocent.
it is unselfish and unconditional.
love should never be feared.
in love there is no fear.
i promise i'd never leave, though we know not the future.
but if we don't make it happen, the future will never happen.

the joy of challenge is to do things that others think you cannot achieve.
challenge yourself. challenge me.
challenge my love.
take a chance on me.
one last chance.

not now perhaps.
but i can wait.
for that day where you are ready
to accept me once again.

if i have to give a limit to my love
i'd say "one lifetime"

let's start again.
this time, it'll never have an end.

i promise.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

NO WAY!!

i am NOT gonna lose to a bunch of old aunties in their 40s! i'm sure they have got good products and all that jazz. but i've got the BEST! so don't come telling me how good yours is when i have obviously drawn the clear line.

but of course...it does feel good to be acknowledge as a talent and someone everyone so want to recruit, doesn't it? haha

damn...having a gastric attack now. freak! i should have just went to have my dinner when i was waiting to try out the product.

good thing i went today. it made me more determine then ever to do well, no to do better! "and they say that a hero will save us..." i will be that hero!

just wait, and, see...

Friday, March 23, 2007

All abt us...

今天可说是个很有感觉的一天.
这么说呢? 不知从何说起,但就是觉得自己在今天下来成长了很多很多.
突然觉得自己很寂寞.平时大家眼里好友满天下的勇安也有他寂寞的时候.其实我并不孤独. 我知道我身旁有狠多的朋友,但他人对于我和我的行业的误解让我不尽为人世间的冷酷无情而打寒痉.

不我们不是冷酷无情的一群.在这里,我只认为我们是少数真正懂得用心的人.在这里我找到知己好友.我学到"真".我学到忠,孝,仁,爱,礼,意,廉,耻.我找到了真正关心我的家人,我找到了我的兄弟姐妹们.

我们都是有理想,有抱负,有孝心的一群.我们是真的用了心,只等着你们的接受.

走的走,留的留.唯有真正了解成功的真谛的才不愿放弃.成功,毕竟不是为了自己.成功是一种感觉.只要达成目标才会有的感觉.

有梦最美希望相随.
大海若无暗礁,
哪能激起美丽浪花?
人生若无挫折,
哪能写下辉煌一页?

我们有梦.我们不是虞忠.我们摒着信心.总有一天梦想会成真!
我们敢梦...你呢?你的梦想有是什么?
来吧!勇敢的做梦!但要美梦成真也得付出代价.

我要做到问心无愧,只会流汗,不会流泪.只要做得对不管有没有人陪.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

专属天使

我是你的专属天使. 没有人能把我抽离你身旁.我是唯有你能独占的专属天使.
当专属天使抛弃你的时候,你会如何呢?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

ambitions...

i used to have a dream. to b a "nice guy" because i thought it's not easy being one. most importantly, it was impossible for me to be one. up till now, only one friend told me i did it, but i end up hurting him/her/it in the end. what joke.

sometimes i ask myself: am i really happy? i joke, i laugh. but what is that loneliness i feel in me? the absense of a particular "something" to fill up that hollow in me. but i have faith. one day, just one day in the future, that "something" will appear and take "it's" rightful throne.

"i'll have an appointment with you in future. and i'll make sure this time, it's happily ever after. for you and me."

***
sometimes i wonder to myslf: what is it with people and working till you're 65? it's not illegal to retire early right? but why is it that people make it sound like a sin to want to retire at 35?? retiring does not equate to "rotting your life away", neither does it mean "leading a meaningless life" after that. does anyone actually know how much we are missing out by not retiring early? i have a belief: there is unlimited money to be earned in this world. no one tells you how much you should stop at. but please do look at the more important aspects in life! what happened to "growing up with your kids"? and "spending quality time with you loved ones (wife, kids and parents included)"? i'm super sure a person's worth is not measured by "how long he can work", that's like so workers' mentality. don't believe me? let's do a simple calculation and determine how much is actuallie "enough" to last you whole life shall we?

let's take the average income of a normal person throughout his life to be $3k (note: it states AVERAGE)

so if we work from 25-65, that's 40 years.

so let's see... 3k x 12 (mths) x 40 (yrs) = 1440k which is $1.44million! cool right? everyone can be a millionaire. but of course some say "but we still spend on other stuffs like car, house, food, diapers...." whatever lah hor....thats the average your parents earn and they are still surviving so don't argue (though they may be struggling)!

so if that's the case, why not shorten that time span?? y should you earn tt 1 million in 40 yrs ir you can shorten it to let's say...10 yrs?? but of course if you're thinking of just working for some MNCs as some admin clerk. then this is not for you.

"but great anzai! how can everyone accomplish this? having everyone retiring at 35...then our economy how?!!!"

fret not, your uncle here got the answer,"if you really care so much about the workforce in future to think about retiring early, be a worker for 40 years. maybe your guilty conscious won't kill you, yea?"

whoever told you that retiring means you can't contribute to the economy? what happened to investments and "spending money to keep the economy rolling"? and no, uncle here didn't say "retire" and waste tax payers' money. but you'll never know if you need tax payers' to support you in future but let's just look at factors that are in our control shall we? acts of God...leave it to Him!

interested you may approach me and ask me to share how i'd actually accomplish this dream of mine. but i do warn that not everyone can accept my ideas. and no, the fact is that you don't have to be a uni-grad to make it in what i want to do.

i'm not sure if i can accomplish what i want, but the thing is, that is what i want. many people don't even dare to want anything anymore.

of course, before bill gates became the richest man on earth, he didn't know that he can do it. but one thing's for sure. he wanted to be rich and powerful, that's why he got to where he is. succes doesn't fall on you suddenly like bird shit and says, "peek-a-boo! you're successful!"

Sunday, March 11, 2007

InSpIrAtIoNaL...

sometimes we complain about how dull life is...seems like it's up to us to spice it up...





next time you have an exam question you can't answer, be creative!

seems like my "inspiration" to write died-ed on me...sucks...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

他和她的故事(二)

时间到了. 他把埋在功课里的头抬起. 放眼望去,她这时从实验室出来.

他早已把她的时间表铭记于心.什么时候放课,什么时候休息,他都很清楚.也因为他的课程与其他人不同所以有许多时间都是一个人独来独往.他就特别喜欢这种时候. 因为没有人可以打扰他从远方欣赏她的美.

这天是她的生日.他画了一张生日卡片给她,但不知如何送出去.

握着卡片,他站在远方望着她, 默默的说:"祝你生日快乐..."

也许有一天她会了解他的心意.他是那么坚信着.也许会有一天.

(二)完

祝你生日快乐!!!

Friday, March 9, 2007

FrEaK!


i'm pretty sure my "chinese star" programme knows when i'm gonna type in chinese and when not. it just pang seh-ed me again! yes! AGAIN! sianz...fret not loyal readers! i will get it fixed...somehow.

there's been alot of deal for the up and coming game show "deal or no deal", well, at least in my company it is. lotsa people have actually signed up for the 250K gameshow! woah! that's alot of money! can u imagine what you can do with that amount of money??

take over the world! eh...don't think so...
take over asia! eh...don't think can also...
take over singapore!! eh...think it's impossible...

damn! you can't do anything with ONLY 250K! haha ok that's lame. let's get back to business.

with 250K, i'd most prob give 100K to my parents for taking all my nonsense and so they can pay my uni school fees (hee!). use 100K to invest in property in China (like buy a few houses and rent them out). and use the remaining 50K to invest in my own business. seems like 250K really not enough...

so when i win my 250K i'd learn how to make my money work for me in investments! whoo! den i'll make my first bucket of gold and invest it back to earn my second, third and fourth buckets of gold! (gold meaning a million yeah?) upon which i'll proceed to become singapore's youngest multi-millionaire! hahaha. whatever lah hor? i haven't even fill up the application forms! and there's an audition to pass too! oh well...stop dreaming and start working!

250K here i come!!!!

JeRks...

a friend that i love said something that kinda stung me a bit.

she said that she thinks that all guys are jerks, maybe due to her father. and that she believes she can live without them.

ouch.

but you gotta admit one thing. most guys are JERKS. facts show it all...i don't even need stats, my uncle is one big time jerk. and this friend's dad, well should be another i guess? but i'm super sure my uncle's actions are not gonna stop my cousins from becoming fathers in future. in fact i'm sure due to their father's actions they are more determined to be a better husband and a better father.

we all learn from mistakes, so say we all. but some people just don't learn. somehow, i learn from my uncle's lessons and vowed never to be someone like that. somehow i think my dad's someone worth learning from. apart from the fact that he drinks and smokes and uses vulgarities...and is fat...he is basically a righteous person. not of God though. but at least he loves my mom. and as i've already described my mom a few entries ago. it's a wonder that my dad's still faithful (true what! you dare say no? don't lie!).

we should not live in the shadows of yesterday, but embrace the warmth of the sunshine from today. we know not what the future holds. so don't rob it of it's rights to exist. we have no rights whatsoever to stop it from happening. but of course psychological barriers are hard to break.

go ask any guy you meet on the streets "are u my father?"
first they will stare at you and say "siao ar!" then, they'll scurry away frantically.
course you only have one father, and NO they are not you father. by the way, if he is den it's impossible between u and the guy. it'll be incest and morally and legally it's wrong.

and no. i am not your father, no matter how you look at it. same surname maybe...they call me ANZAI! so ZAI! anzai da mantou! haha

Thursday, March 8, 2007

dang!

stupid chinese star "died-ed" on me...now i've to wait for it to stop throwing tantrum before i can proceed with my story. seems like the story got me all ready haha...i even thought of the 2nd episode already! but dang! my chinese programme had to die on me...oh well...later then, i supposed?

anyway, got news of eric's, my batchmate in saf bands training wing, mom passed away yesterday. it came as a shock course i saw her once some 1.5yrs ago and she looked fine to me. made me realised how fragile life is...let's observe 1min of silence *silence for 1 min*

losing a loved one has never been a good thing. be it after a long battle with sickness or from freak accidents. we can tell ourselves that the particular person has gone to a better place, but we still feel a sense of emptiness somewhere inside us, where that person used to reside in. the emptiness of not seeing the person, not hearing the person or even smelling the person can really be too much to bear sometimes. it happened to me when i was 11, when my granddad passed away. i used to take care of him, feed him, help him to and fro places, help him clean up after making a mess etc. though my dad told me he had gone to a better place, far away from the tortures of his illnesses, and it came as a relieve for my grandma who took care of him relentlessly without complaints, i still felt sad. i kinda missed taking care of him, to a certain extent, and also hearing him grouse about nonsensical stuff (he was senile so nothing made much sense). his absense was felt, especially when he was the central of attraction in the family, the baby of everyone's worries.

having to learn of a friend's lost somehow triggers that particular pain in me. the reminder of my granddad's passing especially when knowing that he went without salvation. now i pray for people around me to be salvaged.

that time when a close friend of mine lost her grandma, i cried upon receiving the sms (thought i do not know the grandma personally and have heard awful stories about her). it was hard for me. i didn't know what overcame me but i cried. perhaps it had sometimes to do with my trade. i'm particularly proud of my trade being that i know i'm saving people's cells, people's life for a matter of factly. but i failed to help the people around me. people i love, my friends.

but i believe God has a plan for us all. there's a limit to what we can and are to do in this life time. we are here to harvest what others have sowed and sow what others will harvest later. let's just do our pat! death is not that scary actually! but it will be without salvation. may God grace be unto you and let's pray for all our loved ones that they may receive Christ soon (haha sounds like i'm preaching haha). but we gotta know that it starts with us.

just do it. there's nothing to lose anyway.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

他和她的故事...(一)

这是一个关于他和她的故事.

从前从前, 有个男生每天都在作着白日梦.梦想着有一天能够碰到自己梦寐以求的"公主".他很相信一个传说:上帝在造人的时候是一对一对造的.但他们却象寄错了的邮件一样分散在世界的各个角落.所以人打从有意识以后就开始寻找着自己的另一半.

而他也不例外.

在茫茫人海中他终于碰到了心目中的"她".但命运弄人,在知道她存在的两年内他始终没有去认识她的勇气.

但他相信"距离是美".

在距离之间她没有缺点,她在他心目中是完美的.在距离之间他可以想象她和他在一起的画面,一幕幕都有如韩剧般的浪漫.距离让梦想成真,让爱完美,让他心中充满了希望.距离让他幸福.距离让他感觉到和她相处在同一个校园,同一个讲堂,同一个空间是幸福的.距离让爱萌芽,发根...但却阻挡了他开花的成长.距离让爱慢慢的枯萎,慢慢的凋谢...

有个友人问过他"你有喜欢的对象吗?"
"有..."他回答说.
"是谁?"友人追问道.
"她..."他不知如何说起.毕竟自己也从没打听到她的名.
"她是你班的一个女生..."
"是吗? 需要我做媒吗?呵呵."友人取笑着说.
"不了...没这个必要..."他含蓄的回答.

那天他真讨厌自己的倔强,自己的懦怯.白白损失了认识她的机会.但他相信奇迹的出现.

总有一天她一定会了解他的心的!只要摒着希望...希望在人间.

(一)完.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Today, let's talk about love...

Love is ready to suffer
Ready to endure
Holding through pain
To last forever pure
Love is ready to give
Instead of take
It is patient and kind
And never breaks
Love always forgives
And is ready to mend
It is there to hope
And dream again
Love is never rude
And never hates
It takes no pleasure
In other people's pain
Love is ready to suffer
Ready to endure
Holding through pain
To last forever pure


they say that love is blind, well, in my point of view it's not just blind, it's deaf too! haha
how did i come to this astonishing finding? well sometimes you don't have to look too far away from home to realize certain things in life.

for one, i've always been proud that i have a complete family till now. i mean who knows about the future yeah? but now it still stands fine. and i've witness those mushy scenes that i thought will only happen in movies and dramas at home between my parents. my dad's not really shy about expressing his love publicly before me and my brother, especially when he's a little tipsy.

there are times where he would say he's very proud of his wife (my mom of cos) course with her at home, he can rest assure that things will run smoothly at home while he's out at work. can see how much my dad treasures my mom here. but what puzzles me is how he manages to "tahan" all those years of naggings??

ok, to be truthful, my mom's not really one with 魔鬼般身材, 天使般脸孔kinda lady. in fact, when i saw photos of her in the past, i was thinking, "what in the world was dad thinking about when he woo-ed mom?!?!" but as the saying goes, "love is blind" and of cos when you truly love a person, looks doesn't matter. at least one thing's for sure, it's true love for them. (i mean what else can it be?? voodoo magic?) one thing i've learnt is that looks are not important, what's important is that it can be modified with time. what's not able to modify however is the heart of a person.

so, we've touched on the "blind" aspect of love. now, the deaf part. being children we know how powerful our mothers' nagging can be. not only can they make you irritated on you possibly happiest days, it can also make you go berserk on your most sane days. i know, all moms have this superpower ability. if my mom were a character in "bleach", she would have the nagging power equivalent to that of captain level. scary right? normally i'll just collapse under her amazingly huge "rietsu". more often then not, it makes me lose my mind and scenes of impending death usually flood before my eyes, creating scenes of what could have been the end of days if i do not follow her commands. recently i've discovered that mom is gaining certain stand and power at home. as she told me how she was "bullied" and criticized for her bad cookings etc by my grandfather, i realized she has risen up the ranks and emerged as the "empress dowager". seems like now, mom fears no one. and no one dares defy her. especially on her decision that we should eat out at restaurants during the cny reunion dinners course she doesn't wanna clean up after everyone.

eh? how come we talk until here already? like so totally no link haha...anyway, back to my topic on "love is blind and deaf". as i was saying, love is all about giving and sacrificing unconditionally, but how many of us can really do so? i used to dream of having my own family at age 26 just straight after i graduate from uni. seems like now, when reality sets in, it's quite impossible. where will any girl wanna marry a guy with no career, money or a car? like so no security yea? and on certain points on love that my friend and i (both still un-loved now, meaning single and available and up for grabs!) have come up on about love and the "shallowness" of it. we raised certain doubts about finding true love too. but that is so not the point on today's topic. should we raise that again, i'll blog about it k?

in conclusion, you won't know true love till you see it with your own eyes (at home for example). but for many people's cases they don't see it happening so they doubt it. but nevertheless, when you find true everlasting bliss and "the one", don't be stingy about sharing your love with him/her/it, sacrifices and being "blind" and "deaf" are secrets to a long lasting relationship/marriage. don't dream too much about having someone like "wu zhun" as your other partner. disappointment usually follow closely behind reality's footsteps.

***
shifu say i can write stories...but i dunno if i can do it. but let's see if i can have any inspirations ba. writing ain easy...

anyway, 但愿人长久, 千里共婵娟. 祝有情人终成眷属, 白头到老.

我的有请人您在世界的哪个角落啊? 传个简讯过来告诉我吧.

photos!!!







i was bored so i uploaded some pics i found in my com. by now you should have realised....ya i was from SAF bands! parade band B to be precise. proud to be a bandsman! anyway, ord-ed long ago. but i still miss my stay there...really lor! don't believe not my freaking business...signing off...till again.

I believe...

I believe

抬头看远方的星光
悄悄的照亮 幸福的方向
紧抓这梦的翅膀
穿越漫长黑夜的荒凉
看见你在前方

拥抱我 一天天累积这感动
在心中 温暖了我的天空

I believe myself 做最完美的我
在风雨中我会看见你珍贵笑容
I believe myself 哭这伤我勇敢的痛
你会陪这我直到最后阳光闪动 I believe

心愿等待一个时机
成全梦想的美丽 震放在手心
我等待相遇的奇巧
所以用力呼吸 翻越你的足迹

拥抱我 一天天累积这感动
在心中 温暖了我的天空

I believe myself 做最完美的我
在风雨中我会看见你珍贵笑容
I believe myself 哭这伤我勇敢的痛
你会陪这我直到最后阳光闪动 I believe

流浪在未知的路上 也许偶尔会彷徨
但心中渴望的力量 让我不停飞翔

I believe myself 做最完美的我
在风雨中我会看见你珍贵笑容
I believe myself 哭这伤我勇敢的痛
你会陪这我直到最后阳光闪动 I believe

***

我深信 "想要就会有".
我真的想要你的拥抱. 它会实现吗?
我是渴望幸福的维妮雄.
"有缘千理来相会, 无缘见面不相识."
有缘人, 我等待您的爱.
你会愿意接受我吗?
一切尽在不言中, 真爱是值得等待的.
我等你!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

jus me and my shadow

hi shadow...
when was the last time i paid attention to you?
sorry if i ever neglected you.
but i know you'll always be by my side.
i've never heard you rant or complain.
but do you really feel ok?
in the dark of the night,
i won't know if you cry when i'm asleep.
but you never let me know.
perhaps you're the only true friend i have.
for you'll always be there no matter when.
you're there when i cry.
you're there when i'm overjoy.
you're there when i met my 1st love, and was the 1st to know.
you're there when i was out of love.
sorry if i neglected you're presence.
my true friend, my shadow.


***
sometimes i wish i were a winnie the pooh...like so xing fu yea?

pooh : Used to express disdain or disbelief.
winnie the pooh: a confused bear with a female name which is constantly in disbelief or distain...
(sumthg i wrote in a friendster a long time ago...i copied and paste it here cos i thought it was cool...eh my blog i sae cool means cool k?!) dedicate to my shifu...who hasn't reallie been one but wadeva la hor? dun gif a damn...haha are u reading this? thnx fer the talk on msn...i appreciated it!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

sOmEtImEs...It's JuZ a JoKe...

i love sending nonsensical stuff to people and see how they react to it. call it amusement but to me it's some sort of a "human character observational research" haha...whatever! but it's amazing to see how different people react to different kinds of messages. of course some people take it as a joke...while others take it seriously. but isn't this some kinda irony? i mean, how can someone take a joke...seriously? well...sometimes, the things i send are meant for bigger yet more meaningful stuff! like getting to know a person's point of view about a certain topic, how the person actually sees me as a person (or animal which ever you prefer) or how a particular person think.

like when yours truly feel something for this particular girl, he'll drop hints along the way to see if she might just be the one (i know things don't work this way...but that's how yours truly work so bear with it). and i don't usually date just any girl. either you're a close friend or i really like you. and subsequent dates will depend on the initial date itself (i mean if we don't click den what the hell do we subject ourselves to further torment yea?). however, some people just don't get the joke.

funny how i get replies that tells me that my jokes are kinda "dry" woah! warning sign! looks like uncle tan gotta stop his sms frenzy and target certain people ONLY. but come to think of it i really like this particular person fer his/her/its straight forwardness course i can be sure there's no little bit of hypocritical meaning to it. i like people who speak their mind, sometimes. but being the "kiasu" me i won't wanna lose out in a "fight" yeah? but normally i'll just win by saying something intelligent and stop the person from answering anything.

"dun worry...sometimes its jus a joke...but take it seriously..."

*muackz* love ya babe! you never fail to make me feel like shit just when i thought it might just work out someday...don't we all love surprises? :)