Hao Nan Ren...

she called me a "hao3 nan2 ren2" (loosely translated as 'a good man').
but they say "nan2 ren2 bu4 huai4, nv3 ren2 bu4 ai4" (translated as "if a guy is not naughty/bad he won't be able to win the heart of the girl")

i'm so damned...

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

nevertheless, when i'm successful. i'll come and win your heart.
will you wait for me?

等...

什么是等? 你等过吗? 知道等的感觉吗? 甜蜜,焦急还是忧虑?

等,是一件非常累人的事. 有的人等待机会,有的人等待新的一天,有的人只在等待死亡. 相信等过的人都不喜欢等待的兹味.

用了大好年华就只等待着那么一个她的出现. 如今这等待就有如等待着奇迹的出现. 人生如戏,戏如人生. 有的人等待得到成果,有的人却痴痴的"等到花儿也谢了"也没等到. 就连花儿开了,谢了好几次他也等不到.

等,也因人而异. 有的人等因为无可奈何,有的人等却不是注重结果而是注重过程.无论如何,"等待"给予的是一种希望,一种推动力.一种可以让一个人力量的能量,让人有活下去的意志力.往往等待的人虽然知道结果不一定如愿以偿但自己始终愿意让自己相信剧情会有转折的一幕.

我相信奇迹,也等待奇迹的出现. 我等,不是因为我笨,而是因为我是真的用了心.

盼望着,等待着.也许明天会有奇迹的出现. 你愿意相信吗?

WELL DONE, BRO!

alrighty! haha guess what? i managed to persuade boss to extend the dateline for the 100k car incentive till the 21st...and after a long night at sengkang. we finally achieved our goals!!! whee! it's really true that in order to succeed you need to have solutions. and problems will only kill you. i really have to hand it to me to think of such a brilliant solution to solve the problem within a day. muahahaha! you do have to admit that anzai is really damn zai! haha i'm feeling so light after i achieved my mission. i've been so down recently and now, i've finally found my way back to the top! it's time to fight fight fight! but one thing's for sure...i still don't know where my money's gonna come from. think i'll just leave it to God. Thanks o'mighty Lord and holy heavenly Father! now i know what it means to leave it in ur hands and that you're will and not mine be done.

life is good...hee~

Weak...

i feel so weak! like i can hardly move a muscle...let alone move my brain.

i let a chance to achieve 2 cars with 50k less effort then previously go. i must have been stupid. i need to wake up my idea. it's time to bankai again. just like the previous time. there's no holding back. i won't think of the possible consequences. its dangerous. but i have to do it. for my career, for my future. i have to do it.

Lord, please give me the wisdom and the strength to carry on. remind me that i'm not doing this only for myself, but also for my buddy. remind me again and again that i'm supposed to set a good example. make me stronger lord. amen.

Its true afterall...

"unhealthy is rite...EEeee is rite..."

i know, i know...all the better to get away from me...
oh well...destiny has spoken i guess?

对不起...

我看我是真的爱上了你....
实在抱歉.
此事非我之意. 我也是自身难保啊!
天啊救救我吧!!!!

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice growing old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
Need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh, I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

dedicated to you.

To: a Special friend...

"Are you thinking what i'm thinking B1?"
"i think i am B2. i love you too."

then again, maybe not.

it's amazing how someone can feel so special to you. so much so that you call that someone a 'special friend'. no. not a good friend or a buddy. but, a "special friend".

a friend whom you are afraid to love. yet you feel yourself falling into the depth of love itself. a friend so special that you know you won't be able to live on without her presence. yet, you know if the two of you were to be trapped in the same room, both of you would most probably end up killing each other. a friend so special that you actually share the same frequency. something so delicate, so private, so intimate. its the kind of feeling where you understands that there is at least another human out there who shares the same sentiments as you over a certain issue. someone whom you know you can depend on for a listening ear, a positive feedback and truthful advices though it may sting a bit. a friend whom you'd pray stay single forever and be that special friend to you forever. a special friend whom you can selfishly call your own. a special friend who share the same love as you. a special friend who shares the same views on traditions, politics and even on drama. a special friend who is not ashame of being herself and is loved for being uniquely her. a special friend who also has a big and noble dream and ambition. a special friend who stole your first kiss and selfishly took a special portion of your heart as her own.

but i know, i will never be that true love you speak of. nor will i be that prince charming that you dream of. i am not the guy your heart longs for neither am i that special to you.

but sharing the same frequency alone makes me feel special. from a special friend to another special friend.

i love you. past, present and forever. a special friend who took a special part in my heart and my memory.

STOP DREAMING! BE PRACTICAL!

ever heard of this phrase? i wonder how can anyone say such sinful words. being practical is right...but stop dreaming? huh?!

i hate it especially when people tell me to be practical and to stop dreaming. freak! what will i become without my dreams? how can a person live without a dream? normally it's people who have long given up on dreaming, people who dare not dream anymore...for fear of what they have missed...or what they have forsaken.

it's scary to live without a dream. a person without a dream is like a person without a soul. a walking zombie to be exact...

to me, my dreams give me hope. gives me the strength to carry on with life, which would have been meaningless otherwise. now, i still dare to dream it big. the sky's the limit and there's nothing to lose if i were to venture into anything! imagine me at age 40...i don't think i'll dare to dream of anything at all. haha

have no fear! start dreaming! dreams can be fulfilled if you really want it to happen. i believe that why i am.

and to the being practical part...i don't understand how can anyone think that banging on a single scholarship which has almost 500 other applicants which similarly good results be practical and a "sure to survive" mean to clinch a bond which makes an iron rice bowl. and i hardly can imagine what earning a measly 2-3k per month can do to a person's quality of life. and how practical can it be to study for more then half your life and then realizing that the economy has no need for people who has specialize in your field, and course you graduated with a masters you are over-qualified for most of the jobs that u can apply for. how practical is that? especially when you graduate at age 25 and has plans to get married by 28, without enough money to even support you parents. now, where do you think the money for the banquet will come from other then the parents who eagerly wanna be promoted to become grandparents. of cos you may say, "no fear! i can afford to wait for a few more years to save up." please don't talk cock. you can wait. but can the lady wait for long?

i don't know what's wrong with the society. though i'm sure not everyone is cut out for biz, i also believe that we should not be without any ambition. when we were kids, he practically have no fear! what has happened to us? what did society do to us? its scary to think that a majority of us youngsters have already been too deeply poisoned by the "worker's mentality" that we dare not venture out. and that earning 2k a month is "right" as its the norm. what the fish?

aren't these the people who are thinking that leading a "normal" and "peaceful" life will make them happy. and don't give me that shit about "you earn so much den you not happy also no use what". earning a measly income doesn't mean you'll be happy! and i know of people who earn alot and are happy and people who earn peanuts and are upset everyday. so who decides what? definitely money is innocent! it the people who creates the environment and in this case, the happy family. so wake up and smell the flowers dude! stop self-neutralizing with all you "u like tt also will like this what" shit! that's living in self denial! "de nile is not just a river in Egypt ya noe?"

be a "possible thinker" and not an "impossible-thinker"! of course it's easier to think of problems. but in order to succeed we need to solutions! and if we look deeper, to every problem there is at least one solution.