FINALLY!

wah lau eh! really fierce sia! been quite some time since i last updated! haha yours truly has lost his password...and i was lazy to reset it. but seeing how bored i was i decided to reset! haha seems like i kinda mixed up the username. blur sotong me :)

anyway, not much to update about my boring life apart from the fact that my block (in my hall at ntu) won alot of recreation games and i was part of 2 teams, chinese and otello. and i was told that i was selected to represent the hall in the inter-hall competition, which they call IH.

just watched <<881>> and i dare say its a damn good movie! everyone who understands hokkien or even a little since there're subtitles. very touching movie...i was holding back my tears till i kena internal injuries haha. i'm a sucker for such touching stuffs. oh well...i'm emo. haha

but seriously, i really want to watch "secrets" by jay chou. but i've already made up my mind to watch it with her and i'm not someone to change my decisions easily. ya, i'm stubborn. but that's because i believe in us...i do. but such things do happen don't they? haha damn! should have known i've yet to recover fully from the previous impact. 3 yrs...why does this wound heal so slow? is it healing at all?

truth be told, i've been quite down lately...i don't know if it because i'm not getting a reply from a particular person. but its that kinda feeling where you know you're gonna reach some kinda pit bottom and there's no brakes to it. you can't change gear either. you're stuck and you're falling...deep deep down. all you can wait for it the break. and you know it's gonna hurt.

i don't know if i'm ready to commit into another relationship. it's been abt 3 yrs now i guess? haha how much time is needed to forget someone? somehow its hard. i never thought i can get out of that shit hole...but now someone else has taken over her place. but than again...is it?

no longer do i look in her direction. no longer do i talk to her. no longer do i wave at her. why the sudden change? are they to protect her? or are they measures to protect myself?

its ok. i'll wait. we'll just expect the worst and hope for the best. especially when its obvious she likes someone now yea?

haha silly yong an...always getting yourself in to shit holes after shit holes. didn't you promise yourself that you'll keep a low profile? didn't you promise yourself that you won't like someone that easily? it was never easy for you to fall for someone. so why now? wake up you idea bro!

this game is not for you! you belong somewhere else. somewhere where words are inferior in the expression of emotions because the best things are left unsaid. music is where you belong to. in music you'll find love. the stage is where you belong. in a place where you can be any character. in a place where you haf everyone's eyes on you and applause as your reward. no son...love is not the place for you. don't you remember? you're cursed! so stop this self pity act and get up again will you? now, even i despise you.

p.s: its a struggle. don't worry. it's just me, myself and i. a pact i made and a promise broken. am i really happy? but why do i think of you when it hurts? now...its just a different person hurting me. haha...or is it jus me?

wake up now...please?